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Newsom declares CA a Sanctuary State for child slavery
Posted on: July 13, 2025 at 18:51:26 CT
Spanky KU
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SACRAMENTO, CA — In the latest front on his war against the Trump administration's immigration policies, Governor Gavin Newsom officially declared California a sanctuary state for child slavery.
The announcement followed on the heels of Newsom expressing outrage over ICE launching operations to rescue unaccompanied minor immigrants from working in California's marijuana fields, with the governor seeking to provide child slavers with a safe place to do their business.
"It's our duty to provide a place for child slaves to work without fear," Newsom told reporters. "Here in California, we still look to build a bright future, where child slavery can flourish without the dark cloud of interference from the federal government. I will continue to stand up boldly on behalf of child traffickers everywhere. As long as I'm governor, California is the place for child slavery."
One child trafficker who spoke under the condition of remaining anonymous was relieved by Newsom's announcement. "It's great to hear," he said. "It's getting more and more difficult to find places where we can set up shop and really traffic some kidnapped children. Thanks to Gavin Newsom, we can keep fighting to sell these kids for good prices and get rich off of doing horrible things. Thank you, Governor Newsom."
The Association of Child Slave Traffickers also gave Newsom's declaration its enthusiastic approval.
At publishing time, Newsom announced that any ICE agent who agreed to stop their immigration enforcement operations would receive a free child slave.
https://babylonbee.com/news/gavin-newsom-declares-california-a-sanctuary-state-for-child-slavery
The announcement followed on the heels of Newsom expressing outrage over ICE launching operations to rescue unaccompanied minor immigrants from working in California's marijuana fields, with the governor seeking to provide child slavers with a safe place to do their business.
"It's our duty to provide a place for child slaves to work without fear," Newsom told reporters. "Here in California, we still look to build a bright future, where child slavery can flourish without the dark cloud of interference from the federal government. I will continue to stand up boldly on behalf of child traffickers everywhere. As long as I'm governor, California is the place for child slavery."
One child trafficker who spoke under the condition of remaining anonymous was relieved by Newsom's announcement. "It's great to hear," he said. "It's getting more and more difficult to find places where we can set up shop and really traffic some kidnapped children. Thanks to Gavin Newsom, we can keep fighting to sell these kids for good prices and get rich off of doing horrible things. Thank you, Governor Newsom."
The Association of Child Slave Traffickers also gave Newsom's declaration its enthusiastic approval.
At publishing time, Newsom announced that any ICE agent who agreed to stop their immigration enforcement operations would receive a free child slave.
https://babylonbee.com/news/gavin-newsom-declares-california-a-sanctuary-state-for-child-slavery
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Newsom declares CA a Sanctuary State for child slavery - Spanky KU - 7/13 18:51:26