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They really should have floats in the big, beautiful parade.
Posted on: June 11, 2025 at 16:17:40 CT
noodle MU
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Good floats could the unite nation.
Here are just a few floats that I think would be great additions:
1. An HHS float with an RFK Jr lookalike handing tinfoil hat wearing staff members science books that they throw into a burning 55 gallon drum. Surrounded by a bunch of people with measles walking by the float handing out candy. Music for this float: “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne.
2. The next float could be a Department of Defense float with a Pete Hegseth lookalike sitting at a table on a laptop on a Teams call. Behind him is a giant screen with participants in the call including 6 of his “advisors” and a Putin and a Kim Jong-un lookalike that have been inadvertently included. Hegseth is sharing tactical information about the LA soon-to-be riots as well as talking about deploying the Navy to Colorado since they vote blue. Music for this float: “Lonesome Loser” by the Little River Band.
3. The next float is the Joe Biden float that features an Oval office with some random dude sitting at the desk doing cocaine and signing pardons with an autopen. 6 or so Biden lookalikes wearing robes and slippers are shuffling by the float and take the signed pardons to kids in the crowd as souvenirs, making sure they pause awkwardly by any girl under the age of 15. The pardons are for cartoon characters so it’ll be fun for the whole family. Song Selection: “Glory Days” by Springsteen.
4. The next float is from the White House Faith Office and its a public school sneak preview. It features 2 huge tablets with the ten commandments on them. In front of these are a dozen or so young kids sitting at school desks holding bibles. At the head of the class is a Paula White-Cain lookalike dressed in a very short skirt and skimpy top. She’s speaking in tongues and handling a snake while bumping and grinding to “Hot for Teacher” by Van Halen.
5. The last float is the ICE float and should be a big hit with everyone. The other floats are on wheels and are driven but this one is actually being carried by illegals. It’s got a big sign on it that says “WWJD” (who would Jesus deport) and dancing on the float and by it are a dozen or so scantily clad gals in black, leather ICE “uniforms”. On the float also is stripper pole shaped like a cross that a scantily clad Kristi Noem lookalike works like a champ. To top it all off, at the head of the float is a Tom Homan lookalike lip syncing “Ice Ice Baby” by the incomparable Vanilla Ice.
Am I missing anyone?
Edited by noodle at 16:21:36 on 06/11/25
Here are just a few floats that I think would be great additions:
1. An HHS float with an RFK Jr lookalike handing tinfoil hat wearing staff members science books that they throw into a burning 55 gallon drum. Surrounded by a bunch of people with measles walking by the float handing out candy. Music for this float: “Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne.
2. The next float could be a Department of Defense float with a Pete Hegseth lookalike sitting at a table on a laptop on a Teams call. Behind him is a giant screen with participants in the call including 6 of his “advisors” and a Putin and a Kim Jong-un lookalike that have been inadvertently included. Hegseth is sharing tactical information about the LA soon-to-be riots as well as talking about deploying the Navy to Colorado since they vote blue. Music for this float: “Lonesome Loser” by the Little River Band.
3. The next float is the Joe Biden float that features an Oval office with some random dude sitting at the desk doing cocaine and signing pardons with an autopen. 6 or so Biden lookalikes wearing robes and slippers are shuffling by the float and take the signed pardons to kids in the crowd as souvenirs, making sure they pause awkwardly by any girl under the age of 15. The pardons are for cartoon characters so it’ll be fun for the whole family. Song Selection: “Glory Days” by Springsteen.
4. The next float is from the White House Faith Office and its a public school sneak preview. It features 2 huge tablets with the ten commandments on them. In front of these are a dozen or so young kids sitting at school desks holding bibles. At the head of the class is a Paula White-Cain lookalike dressed in a very short skirt and skimpy top. She’s speaking in tongues and handling a snake while bumping and grinding to “Hot for Teacher” by Van Halen.
5. The last float is the ICE float and should be a big hit with everyone. The other floats are on wheels and are driven but this one is actually being carried by illegals. It’s got a big sign on it that says “WWJD” (who would Jesus deport) and dancing on the float and by it are a dozen or so scantily clad gals in black, leather ICE “uniforms”. On the float also is stripper pole shaped like a cross that a scantily clad Kristi Noem lookalike works like a champ. To top it all off, at the head of the float is a Tom Homan lookalike lip syncing “Ice Ice Baby” by the incomparable Vanilla Ice.
Am I missing anyone?
Edited by noodle at 16:21:36 on 06/11/25
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They really should have floats in the big, beautiful parade. - noodle MU - 6/11 16:17:40