I've noticed that you folks have been having a few issues

Posted on: January 15, 2021 at 18:38:41 CT

with barter.

It's ugly. It often involves multiple parties, no one is ever quite sure if the trades are precisely fair, in terms of value exchanged, and sometimes, trades don't happen because no one can balance it out with an additional Llama or what have you.

Thus I've decided to invent something called MONEY.

Now, the way it works is I print out these little sheets of paper called MONEY, and these sheets represent a certain amount of value.

In order to get things rolling, I've decided to make one hundred sheets worth one llama. Another way to look at it: each little sheet is worth 1/100th of a llama.

Now, how many sheets of this special paper everything else is worth is going to have to be worked out amongst yourselves as you trade.

Some rules to make this work:

1. If anyone refuses to accept these little sheets of paper in trade, they will be jailed for up to 30 days.

2. Every time anyone trades for anything using money, a small percentage of the trade goes to me. For example, if you buy a llama, I get one sheet and the seller gets the remaining 99 sheets.

3. Further, everyone shall keep track of how many sheets of paper they collect in one year and at the end of that year 30% of that amount must be sent to me. For example, if you have traded and currently hold 1000 sheets at year end, 300 sheets must be sent to me. Anyone failing to calculate and send the appropriate little sheets of paper will be jailed.

4. Shelter. Many of you live in shelters of varying levels of comfort. I will send out officials once a year to assess the value of these shelters. You will send me 5% of that value in sheets of paper. Now, those who cannot pay the 5% shall forfeit their shelter.

5. From time to time one person may lend little sheets of paper (money) to another person to be paid back later. Whenever this occurs, the lender can request that more sheets of paper be paid back than were lent. This is to compensate the lender for his lost access to the little sheets of paper while you, the debtor, are using them.

6. Our population keeps growing and groups of people living in an area have local needs that should be addressed. I call these areas States. States shall be established such that 5% of the money you have collected by the end of a year shall be paid to State officials I designate. They will use this money to handle needs in your local area.

In summation:

1. Barter is illegal, punishable by jail time.
2. Money (little sheets of paper) shall replace barter.
3. 30% of all the money you collect in one year shall be payable directly to me, as inventor of money.
4. 10% of all money involved in a trade shall be given to me at the moment of the trade.
5. 5% of the value (in money) of your current shelter shall be paid to me at the end of each year.
6. 5% of al the money you've collected in one year shall be paid to local State designees I appoint.

I think it's fairly clear by now that MONEY is the greatest invention in the history of man and that it will REVOLUTIONIZE our civilization, heralding a new GOLDEN ERA for humankind.

As such, you are welcome, and, I'll send representatives out to get you set up with loans of little sheets of paper so that you can begin trading.

These loans must be paid back by year end, with 50% more little sheets of paper returned then were originally lent.

Thank you for your compliance.