How the Trump stole the election

Posted on: October 25, 2020 at 13:31:01 CT

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome Election Day, bring your light
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Welcome in the cold of night

Welcome Election Day, fahoo ramus
Welcome Election Day, dahoo damus
Welcome Election Day, while we stand
Heart to heart and hand in hand


Trim up the tree with Election stuff

Like bingle
and whofoo fluff
Trim up the town with googoo

And bizilbigs and


Trim every blessed window and trim every blessed door
Hang up whoboohoo bricks then run out and get some more!
Hang pantookas on the ceilings
Pile panpoonas on the floor
Trim every blessed needle on the blessed Delection booth
Election comes tomorrow. Elect you, Elect me!
Trim up your booth with fuzzle fuzz
And fliffer bloofs, and wuzzle wuzz
Trim up your uncle and your aunt
With yards of whoflut flay


Every Americano down in America liked Election a lot
But the Trump who lived in the White House did not!

The Trump hated Elections! The whole Election season!
Now, please don't ask why. No republigistian knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was ten sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Election Eve loving the boogaloos

Staring down from his Desk with a sour, Trumpy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town,

For he knew every American down in America's slump
Was busy now thinking of his azz to dump

"And they're hanging their signs," he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Election Day! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Trump fingers nervously drumming,
"I must find some way to keep Election day from coming!

For, tomorrow, I know all the American dolts
Will wake bright and early. They'll rush for their votes!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
There's one thing I hate! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

And they'll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing 'round on their wheels.
They'll dance with jingtinglers tied onto their heels.
They'll blow their floofloovers. They'll bang their tartookas.
They'll blow their whohoopers. They'll bang their gardookas.
They'll spin their trumtookas. They'll slam their slooslunkas.
They'll beat their blumbloopas. They'll wham their whowonkas.
And they'll play noisy games like zoozittacarzay,
A roller-skate type of lacrosse and croquet!
And then they'll make ear-splitting noises galooks
On their great big electro whocarnio flooks!

Then the Americans, young and old, will sit down to a feast.
And they'll feast! And they'll feast! And they'll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They'll feast on Who pudding, and rare roast beast,
Raw roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least!

And then they'll do something I hate most of all!
Every American down in America, the tall and the small,

They'll stand close together, with Election bells ringing.
They'll stand hand-in-hand, and those Whos will start singing!"

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
Good bye Trump! Come this way
Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays
You're fired Trump, Election Day

Good bye good riddance, fahoo ramus
Good bye good riddance, dahoo damus
Election Day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp