This is what I do at football games...sometimes after work

Posted on: May 11, 2012 at 15:06:35 CT

Here's an important ritual I perform at each game. You should do it too.

Of course the beer has to Pabst Blue Ribbon in cans. Drink as many as you can as it may have a direct effect on if your team wins or not...22 pabsts just about guarantees victory.
Here's why:
Well for one, you won't know what's going on and won't care.
Two, haha..nah, this is the serious part. Each can represents an opposing player. As soon as you finish each drink, you must crush it and stomp it in the ground the best you can. This will kill the player associated and leave him ineffective for the game.
Some games, one must browse the starting lineup to find someone to kill. Others, you can't drink fast enough.
Got it? I've resorted to coaches sometimes..I know it's not in my initial rules but what can it hurt? I've crushed Steve Spurrier and drank his blood many times. Sometimes it doesn't work and he keeps coming back to life...but I keep trying.